Porn star, stripper singer, hippie, mother, she definitely tried on a whole bunch of different lifestyles in her pursuit of happiness and true identity. I think of her when I think of Gogol's life, trying out different lifestyles for size, never really settling down. In the movie Forrest Gump, the girl, Jenny, has a messed up childhood. It scars her inside and she spends the rest of her life trying to find acceptance, happiness, and self-worth. She bounces from one man's house to another, one career to another, and one lifestyle to another. In the end, she marries Forrest and bears him a child. She is happy and comfortable with him, and he loves her, but because of all that she did in the past, she isn't able to truly enjoy herself with Forrest. Her disoriented identity hinders her from enjoying her life in a way that truly satisfies her. In the last section of the book The Namesake, Gogol breaks up with his second girlfriend and marries another girl, Moushumi. These two Bengalis get married, but neither of them are ready for a lifelong commitment to a partner. Moushumi's life consisted of her playing around with different guys. She didn't like commitment; all she wanted to do was play and feel loved. Although Gogol provided her with this love, he didn't provide her with the fun and active lifestyle she desired in her heart. Gogol was also jumping from girl to girl and he ended up with Moushumi, but when they married, he wasn't at a stable stage in his identity. He hadn't truly been able to accept all of himself, therefore leading to a broken relationship where he does not truly understand all of Moushumi's needs and desires.
Wanting change and short-term relationships are not uncommon among the people of our world today. I have had friendships that come and go just because one side can not stick to a friendship. Many people just like brief, on-the-surface type of relationships. They want to be together with someone and enjoy one other, but they leave enough space in between so that when one side gets bored, separating isn't too hard or burdensome. In Gogol and Moushumi's relationship, Gogol sensed the growing distance between them. As Moushumi continued further into their marriage, she began to realize that she didn't want to be contained by this bondage, so she started sharing less, hiding secrets, and distancing herself. These all led up to their final separation. Moushumi may one day feel that she doesn't like this lifestyle she lives, one where she's always jumping back and forth. I think that the day she decides on truly settling down is the day she finds her identity and is able to live her life in a way that truly satisfies her. What do you think? Is someone's identity true even if they change from one lifestyle to another or experiment with one thing or another?
Hmmm, as for the ending..If I'm honest..I've actually delayed writing this post for quite a bit because I really don't know what to say. Dare I say, I found it maybe even a bit boring?? I don't know..what did you think of the ending? How do you compare Gogol to now to when he was a confused teenager? I think he has definitely matured and made new discoveries in himself. He realizes that he can't run away from his Bengali culture; he still has blood connection and deep down inside, he still wants to have mental and physical connection. He realizes that he can't run away from his old name, Gogol. The old Gogol is still alive and in the end of the book, he finally brushes off the dust from the book, from his old name, and picks it up again. Although the book doesn't say that he changes his name from Nikhil back to Gogol, I don't think that detail is necessary. The important part is that internally, he has picked up the part of him that died as Gogol. He picked up his Bengali culture again and he allowed his life to run its course as Gogol again. At the end of the book, he finally accepts, acknowledges, and even desires being Gogol.
Gogol's journey to becoming Gogol was long and painful at times, but he did not just walk in a circle. He did end up in the same spot (being Gogol), but he definitely picked up quite a few things along the journey. In our lives, sometimes it seems like a waste of time and effort to do things, but nothing is really useless. As I apply for university and I look at some of the program majors, it makes me thing like 'Wow, who would ever want to major in that? That's so useless.' But what do I know? Maybe it isn't that practical in real life, but if someone wants to major in that program and learn about something that interests them, then they are benefiting. Learning is never pointless. Our past and mistakes are never for no reason. It all helps to shape our lives. It continues to build our lives, all the way until our end. Until the end.
Jenny. From the movie Forrest Gump.
I have a story. You have a story. And while these stories need to be heard, in the end..we are all more than a story but still simple wayfarers of life.
A blog cannot contain the entire person I am, it is just a colorful collection of my stories.
P.S. Please ignore all preview blog posts due to it being written by my high school self for an English class project requiring the creation of this blog. I only keep it for amusement purposes.
Thanks for bearing